Agnes DeForest Curtiss

Growing up, her closest friend was her sister Harriet. They both hadto suffer the social stigma and humiliation of a divorce when theirparents split up in their teens. She and her sister were shuffled offto relatives in Watertown after the divorce and she relied on thegenerosity of those relatives while growing up. The Charles Jacksonswere kind people and they were largely responsible for their care formany years. They gave her a large party to celebrate her engagementto Charles Buckingham and hosted her wedding reception. It was a verylarge wedding and one the town did not soon forget. Many people camein from neighboring counties and New York City to attend. The groupwedding photo is in the attached pages. Her father gave her away buther mother was not in good graces with her daughters at the time anddid not attend. She began her married life in Watertown with the giftfrom her father of the large white house, in which she lived most ofher life. It served as the center of activity for many people in townfor decades. It was a happy home filled with people at all times, asdescribed by her children.

Agnes Buckingham was a very active woman, volunteering with variousorganizations all her life. She was a member of the American RedCross and the Nurses Association, doing a great deal of work duringthe wars. She was always an active member of her church, heading upthe Altar Guild of Christ Church (where she was married) for manyyears. She was also a member of the National Society of ColonialDames of American, the Sarah Whitman Trumbull chapter of the DAR, theConnecticut Historical Society, the Watertown Foundation andHistorical Society of Republican Women. There are handwritten copiesof letters between her and the author of the Curtis/Curtiss Book ofGenealogy, demonstrating that she was a well respected source of datafor the genealogical societies. It is her work that I have relied onfor genealogical information. Unfortunately, she concentrated mostlyon her own family, and the Buckingham side lacks the impressiveresearch done on the Curtiss side.

I met her several times in my life, the first of which I will neverforget (she did not like to fly, so came out to California by trainonly once or twice). I was about twelve years old and my parents,Joan and Lee Sammis and sister, Diana met her for lunch at an inn thatshe had frequented for about fifty years. They all knew her and sheobviously appreciated the attentive care given her by the employees.I remember my mother warning us to be on our best behavior as she wasa woman who demanded respect and the utmost in etiquette. Diana and Iwere very nervous by the time we actually met her. I think she wasabout 90 years old then and was quite hard of hearing so it was a veryloud lunch. But I will never forget her regal stance and bearing.She stood so straight and you could just see the stubborness that shewas so well known for. She was very happy to meet us and was veryloving. There is a picture attached of that day. I also met her whenshe was dying in 1977 when I was at school back East. Nanny and Papa(Betty and Nelson Howard) took me to see her at the convalescent homein Watertown. She did not seem to know any of us, but had moments oflucidity. I was quite amazed at her dignity, even on her death bed.I thought she was really beautiful. She sat straight up in bed andinsisted that her hair and makeup be done every day. I held her handfor a long time and we talked to her about the past, which she seemedto recall like it was yesterday. Of course, she couldn't rememberyesterday or today, but her recollections were astounding about 1920and 1930.

I have heard stories about her all my life and I will tell a few here. Family dinners, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, were verylarge and bountiful and after dinner, it was the custom that all thechildren had to run all the way around the house to work up anappetite for dessert. My grandmother, Betty Buckingham Howard, tookmy mother, Joan and her sister, Natalie to live in the big white housein Watertown while my grandfather was in the Navy during World War II. My mother remembers the playhouse in the back yard that was built formy grandmother and she and her cousin, Patty Goss played in it. Mygrandmother has told me many times about the fire house being behindtheir house and how when the fire bell rang, Granny B and GrandfatherBuckingham would run and gather up the horses to take the fire wagonto the fire. The jail was also right behind their house and mygrandmother remembers Granny B feeding the drunks in the jail, and thechildren would taunt them unmercifully. My father also had the"pleasure" of taking a drive with her (she was still driving at 75years old) through the winding roads of Watertown while he was in theArmy, an experience he says he will never forget.

She was considered the grand dame of Watertown, rivaling thereputation of her mother-in-law in the small town. She was a verystrong woman of unyielding convictions and some say she wore the pantsin the family. She was very organized and the children all led a veryordered but fun life. Their father was the comic in the family whobrought gaiety into the house. My grandfather describes her as themost generous, loving woman he has ever known. He always consideredher a second mother in his days away at Taft School. She would oftenhost many of the homesick boys from Taft at her home. She was anamazing and wonderful woman!

Graduation from The Cathedral School of Saint Mary
Thursday Morning, June 6th, 1901
In commencement programme, Miss Curtis listed as Impromptu-Reinhold
Graduates:
Maie Richmond Bamum, Agnes DeForest Curtiss, Agnes Pearson Church,Anna Gertrude Rose, Helen Gertrude Walker
College Preparation: Lotta Reuwee Bradburn
Special: Gertrude Hinman Ladd